Changes

I am in the midst of many changes these days. Some have come as a surprise, others with the natural flow and order of time. The seasons are changing, as my walk this morning brought leaves turning and a deepening movement into fall. Autumn Equinox has come and gone and the tile floors in my home are starting to feel a bit colder in the early hours of the dawn.

I was thinking this morning about how to stay steady during times of change. How to think, feel, consider, without being attached, while not denying or repressing my own process. Life is in the continual flux of change, moving from moment to moment endlessly without much notice. Something simple like, my tea cup was full 15 minutes ago and now it is empty. It is so easy. But my youngest daughter leaving for school and my oldest daughter and her son moving to a different town several hours away…..well now…that is not so simple….or is it. That is the question, and therein lies the attachment. Don’t we all like things to look a certain way, feel a certain way, be a certain way. We become comfortably attached to whatever that may be. It appears to provide a certainty; predictable and steady.

So I am pondering again desires for the outside to provide for me a sense of wholeness and surety, of love and beauty. Oh, the attachment which comes with the desire is loaded with emotion. The mind wraps around and says, “yes, this is what I need, need, need…this is my world and these are the things I need to feel full and stable.” But it’s not true and I feel and think this only when I harbor attachment. For within my center I reside in a different reality; simple and steady. I do not require a specific formula from the outside to substantiate my existence. I just breath and that is enough.

There is so much, so much; abundance if infinite. I am never going to be without love or beauty. It’s an illusion which says life is limited. It’s the maya of time which says here today, gone tomorrow. I am always in relation to everything. There is no time-space continuum. Every moment, every breath, love, beauty, grace, current, is presently present. I have nothing to fear or lose, nothing for my mind or emotions to attach.

It is in the being I stay steady. In the being I am sated, I am not deprived, but full…”my cup overflows…” in the divinity of the breath. When changes come, when I am missing my children, it’s in the breath where the truth exists. All connections to all things is in the breath. My heart may yearn, my mind may ponder, yet within the breath the attachments loosen their bonds and I am free to love, truly and completely, unlimited and without fear.

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